Passion for accuracy!

Hello~! In this post I'm am going to talk about a very important and terrible subject. Inaccurate movies. Now, anyone who reads knows that the books are always better than the movies. But it still doesn't make this any less of a crime, when a movie either sucks, or just plain doesn't follow anything in the book. What do movie writers think they mean by doing things "by the book,"? Its an outrage! Now, bad affects or bad actors I can forgive, but a completely different plot structure? Characters who look, and act nothing like how they are portrayed in their book(s)? Where will the slaughter end?!

I enjoy movies that follow the true story. Even movies based on true events. If a movie isn't historically accurate that's all I can focus on instead of the main story. It just takes away the glory of a movie, knowing that it's all a lie. The blow isn't as bad when I've already seen the movie, before reading the book, but still... It always takes away. I can even forgive, or overlook small changes, or alterations of events that never happened. But when that small change leaves out a small, yet crucial, detail, it creates holes in the story.

Imagine story holes worked like this: For every story hole, or part in the movie that said hole affects, or should affect but doesn't, part of the movie gets blurred out. You're sitting in a theater watching the premier, when all of a sudden it looks as though someone is burning holes in the projectors film roll. Every time something is affected either a new hole opens up, or an old hole gets bigger. If you haven't read the book, these holes are easy to ignore, but if you have, It's really hard to watch the movie, and it's like you've suddenly come down with a severe case of OCD. Most people out there might be thinking, "Okay only so many people can have OCD right? Just get over it," But, think about it. It's opening night. Probably 90% of the people watching that movie are crazed fans, having major OCD issues, and are internally in an uproar.

Doesn't sound very good does it? There are two types of fans out there. Fans who become angry when a movie misrepresents a great book, and crazy fan girls who only became fans of the books after watching the movies. Some are people, and some you can't really talk to. You don't really want to tick off either, so can't we just fix both problems by keeping the movies accurate, with out getting an overdose on, "Hollywood Magic,"? Guys...Let's stop the murder of good stories.

~Let the Mayhem Begin

Humor Blog

The assignment I've been dealt this week is a humor blog. Basically, since this blog is about book reviews I have to go over types of humor in books, crack a few jokes, and be overall silly. 'Shouldn't be too hard...I hope. Now most people have read the standard book that somewhere through the story something funny happened. Maybe, someone fell over or into something, maybe they said something wrong and it came out funny, or maybe there's just a quirky character that says and does things every other page that's outrageous. Now, if you've never read a book where anything funny ever happened, then you've either never read a book, or rarely read books. Now if that's the case then...first, what are you doing on this blog? If you're just looking for something to read that's cool I guess, but...Never mind, off topic. The point is, most people have read a book with something funny in it.
Now, if you're reading books, that don't seem to make any sense, random stunt after random stunt keeps happening, or a paragraph ends with "and then the dragon just puked everywhere. Unfortunately for every one it was all boiling magma, so the smell was awful. I told him not to eat the guy from that taco truck. Oh, well... I feel bad for the janitor that has to clean that mess up." Then your probably reading a parody. Which can be awesome depending on what you think is funny. If you like stupid random stuff that doesn't make any sense like I do, then you'll love parodies. And if you love stupid random stuff that is making fun of another book and pointing out everything that author found dumb about that book, then you'll love parodies. Several months ago before we read Hamlet, my English teacher asked us to write what we know about it, even if we didn't know really anything. And I didn't... So this was what I wrote about for roughly seven minutes:

"Well when I hear Hamlet, I think of the offspring of a ham. So, if a regular ham comes from a full grown pig, a hamlet comes from baby piglets. Example: I was at the grocery store stocking up on food and alcoholic beverages for a mighty Valhallan feast in the veterans hall, when I spotted the best  ham the store had to offer. I was about to call for a fork lift to get it in my cart when...I spotted its hamlets. It wasn't right to separate a ham from its hamlets. So we ate them all. The night was glorious."

Yeah...So that's what my imagination is like. If you think that was strange you should read my Beethoven's Moonlight sonata story, but maybe another time. Now granted, If you read stories like this, that doesn't mean they are parodies, there could be books or stories like this out there that aren't, bu the only ones I've read or heard of being sort of like this are. Of course there are also joke books, within which you'd probably find the comedy styles like this:

Q: What do you call a fake noodle? A: An Impasta 

Q: What do you call a man with no body and just a nose? A: Nobody nose. 

Q: What do you call a laughing motorcycle? A: A Yamahahaha 
But of course, I'm supposed to be doing jokes about books, not just  whats in them. So heres a few more knee slappers:

  Q. What did one book say to another?

A. I just wanted to see if we are on the same page. 

TEACHER: tell the class what book you read and what you thought about it?

PUPIL: It was the phone book. I did not understand it, it had too many characters. 

TEACHER: What book did you read?

PUPIL: It was Black Beauty.

TEACHER: What was it about?

PUPIL: About 120 pages 

And my personal favorite Book joke I found, Little Johnny goes to the library. 

Little Johnny asked and received help from a librarian on how to use the card catalog. In a little while, he approached the librarian again, wanting to know how to spell tequila.


T-e-q-u-i-l-a, spelled the librarian, and Little Johnny thanked her and went back to his search.

A short time later he came to the desk, looking quite distraught. I just can't find it. he said.

What book are you looking for? the librarian asked.

Replied Little Johnny, Tequila Mockingbird. 

Alriiiiiiiiiight! Now, hopefully at some point you thought something in this post was funny in some way. If so, then I feel accomplished. If not then...uh, lets just not get into it. Anyways, for those of you who like these forms of humor, I recommend parodies and joke books for future reading. If You dont think anything was for you, then have a good day, I guess. Some of these jokes I already knew, and some I got from a few websites, and here they are:

Book jokes

Other jokes

Sorry about the trippy color contrast, I'm not sure how to fix it.
~Let the mayhem begin.

Interdisciplinary Post

Assignment for the week is to "link" my blog subject to a different class subject I have. But the class I have this blog for is English... so the question arises. How does one link books to a subject other than English? Simple. Is story telling not an art? Are there not several forms? No two pieces are identical? Why not compare the various forms to art. Think about it. Don't paintings tell a story? And vice versa, While reading a book or listening to one, Don't they paint pictures? The answer is yes, though that opinion may just come down to who's being asked if your not a fan of either. 

Some of you may think I'm comparing apples to oranges, but I'm really not. You have to be imaginative in some way or another to either make art or publish a book. Putting that aside for now, lets compare genres. Non-fiction means something real. It wasn't made up. Generally with the term 'non-fiction' is associated with writing, but is it strictly only for writing? In the art world, it could be referred to as a still life. A depiction of something real. Stereo-typically for an example, most would think of a painting of some type. If your still not sure what one is, think of a painting of a bowl of fruit, or an existing landscape. When trying to paint one as close to real as possible your painting a still life. Something that exists, or 'is real'. 

Other genres could be fiction, fantasy, etc. These could all be linked to any type of art! Realistic fiction could be linked to a piece of art depicting something realistic, though not necessarily some thing that exists. Something straight out of someones imagination. It looks as though it could exist somewhere, but probably doesn't. Unrealistic fiction, like fantasy for an example, could be related to abstract or surreal art. Not a chance it could really happen or exist, but people like it. It sparks peoples imagination. 

Still don't believe writing and art can coexist? Well then continue reading, because they cross over with each other all the time. For those of you who are aware art and writing are linked together...you can stop reading any time, I guess. Examples of cross overs include but are not limited to: Comics, Manga, Graphic novels, any picture book or book with pictures, and yes, any book with a cover of some kind. That's right, if a book has any type of cover or color or anything its has been artistically approved. Even if a cover has nothing but the title and authors name, someone had to direct the color scheme and placement of said title and name of author. Someone was bound to think it looked good enough to publish. The saying "don't judge a book by its cover" wasn't created for no reason. Generally if a book cover looks good, it sparks your interest enough for you to pick it up and examine it. Thank the cover. Lastly there are so many different types of are constructed from words and books and pages with words on them its stifling. There is probably an uncounted amount of different art pieces and book covers out around the world. And I'm not one to get cheese saying that, but the meaning is literal. Its literally everywhere. Google it. I dare you.

~Let the mayhem begin.